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Family Types
 | "We Have Always Handled Our Own Problems" This
is representative of the private family. They have always taken care of themselves
and their loved ones with little or no assistance from others. This type of family does
very well under most conditions. If grandma has broken her hip, they will rally to
accommodate her needs including allowing her to move in with them if need be. Head
injury, however, is rarely something families are able to handle on their own.
Privacy must be put aside for awhile. The social worker will appear to be
"snooping" but is really only gathering information necessary to best assist in
planning for what is needed down the road. If you are not sure what or how much help
you need, consult the doctor, social worker, or any other team member with whom you feel
comfortable. |
| "Life Does Not Give You Anything You Cannot Handle" Faith
is extremely important to some families. Professionals should never ignore this.
However, important decisions are sometimes stalled or halted while families are
relying on someone or something other than the rehabilitation personnel. Hope for a
miracle can be a problem when it interferes with treatment. It is best to look at
the team effort with numerous players needed to reach the goal. Head injury is often
a 3 to 6 month medical crisis. It is often a lifetime proposition, so use al the
help you can get from each of these team members. |
| Denial If the doctor and other therapists have told
you that your loved one is ready to go back to work, that is one thing. However, if
you have determined that this is the way it must be, or if the patient is telling you that
he is going back to work right away, this is representative of denial. Families
often hide the fact that they are in denial. This type of denial can cause families
to miss or ignore important information. Allow yourself to listen to what others are
saying. It is very difficult for family members to recognize this denial because of
its protective quality. It is helpful at times and allows one to face the huge
undertaking at hand. To determine if you are holding on to false hope you might ask
one of the team members that you trust. |
| "He Will Be Fine Once We Get Him Home" Families
often believe that their loved one will improve significantly once he returns home and
back into familiar surroundings. Sometimes there are positive effects, but seldom of
the magnitude expected by hopeful family members. Initially, he may decline until he
acclimates to his new surroundings. Underlying some of this thinking may be
disappointment in the outcome of therapy. Frustration may develop. One may
wonder if the results may have been different if they had taken him to another
rehabilitation center or if they should have taken him home sooner so his loving family
could take care of him. Although there are differences in some rehab. facilities,
the degree of recovery is more closely correlated to the degree of injury. |
| "Woe Is Me - How Will I Ever Manage?"
This statement is most common to a family who has not established an effective support
system within the family. More often than not, they will constantly ask for help and
there will be no cohesive plan for caring for the patient once he is discharged from the
unit. This is usually true because no one in the family thinks they are able to
handle all that is needed. If you fall into this category, ask the social worker,
psychologist, or counselor for specific steps on how to prepare for and manage these
issues. Ask for help and accept it when it is offered. |
| "Oh Only I (You) Had ... If Only I (You) Had Not..." Some
families are so consumed by guilty that they dwell on the past rather than focus on the
here and now. It is normal to look back and have regrets, but it is not normal to
allow these feelings to consume one's life. It is even worse to blame others or make
statements which make them feel guilty such as "I can't believe you gave him
permission to ..." This type of guilt is difficult to overcome on your own.
Your facility will have professionals who are trained to assist in helping you turn
around these feelings. |
| "Our Son Would Do So Much Better If You Would Let Him Have A Nap
After Lunch." This type of statement represents a controlling
family. Individuals who have been accustomed to telling family members what to do
and when to do it will have a difficult time relinquishing control over the rehabilitation
process. Also, head injury patients may also tend to exaggerate or embellish their
stories which could cause a family to get into an uproar about a transgression which may
have been quite minor. Or the patient may feel he would do better with another
speech therapist when in reality the therapist may be asking the patient to do something
difficult or frustrating which may cause the patient to want a new, "easier"
therapist. You must let go of your controlling nature. It is true that you are
a member of the team, but you have limited experience in head injury rehabilitation.
It is also true that you know the patient better than anyone else, so take time to
share those feelings and knowledge with the social workers and other therapists. In
this way, you may begin a cooperative effort which will make relinquishing power easier. |
| "Our Lives Are Ruined. What Will Become Of Us?" This
extremely depressed state will most likely not occur until after the inpatient
rehabilitation process. However, some families may go into deep depression almost
immediately - a type of depression which overwhelms and gains inertia over time. If
this happens to you, it should be easy to recognize because you cannot seem to function in
terms of making decisions about the future. You may feel confused, disoriented, and
completely fatigued. Excessive sleep or becoming a couch potato are recognizable
signs. In all likelihood, you will need some type of professional assistance to work
through this depression. Ask the social worker or psychologist for assistance.
If you want to find out more about depression, here are some sites to
check out: |
Mayo
Clinic Information on Depression
Take
an online depression screening from NYU
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